I help people unlearn their addictions to the two most dangerous forces on the planet: apathy and fear.
Tell me how you want to die, and I will help you discover how you want to live.
I’ve never been fond of coming out. It’s not something about which I have positive associations. I waited until I was 18 to come out, because I grew up in an environment in the south where a likely reaction to coming out was that you’d be sent to a camp, therapist, and/or “doctor” to be ‘made straight.’ I remember telling my parents I was gay, but what I also remember was being publicly outed by a religious organization and group of mentors I loved and trusted just before that. I showed up to what I thought was a regular meeting, was moved to the center of a room of “friends,” and was told to choose Jesus or my life of sin. All that to say: coming out hasn’t ever really been my personal cup of tea.
What was also true was that I pretended to be — and performed — straightness for all of my adolescence and a big part of my adulthood. I’ve known I’m queer since I was 7. Imagine an actor playing a role for 15 years of his life. That was me. And I acquired two superhuman strengths from being terrified that people would see me and find me out:
I became an expert in fear.
I became an expert at hiding.
My panic attacks started around the age I realized I was gay. Alongside the acute terror of believing I was going to hell because I was queer. From 7 to 29, I got to know the curves of terror and fear intimately. I know what it’s like for a heart and body and mind and spirit to try to live and work and love and lead under its influence. I know what it’s like to long for something that truly terrifies you with all your heart. I know the half-life of that sort of living.
But my truly impressive superhuman power was keeping all this hidden. The anxiety; the depression; the fear; the queerness. I became a master at hiding from others, and from myself. Not just hiding my queerness, but hiding my truths — my me — my special mojo. And this meant that I also became a master at hiding from love. Love was all I wanted — to love others as me, and to be loved and accepted as me. So I even — and especially — became an expert at hiding my feelings and learned how to not feel them at all.
If you want to learn to numb out, allow fear to control you, be called a “cold, unfeeling bitch” (those were the literal words a colleague used), and to shrink to make others more comfortable around you— I can help.
And: if you want to dislodge and break free from all that stuff, I can help with that too.
Turns out, my pain as a youngster has made me brilliant at what I do now.
I specialize in a particular sort of alchemy:
Fear to radical love and courage.
Playing small to revolutionary authenticity and personal freedom.
Sound familiar? Then let’s come out of those systems and social constraints and fears and inhibitions together.
How can I support you? Check out some of the ways to f*ck fear and make love with me on this site, and give me a buzz.
About my mission, influencers, & teachers
My agenda for anti-racism, liberation, justice, and love is explicit and unapologetic. And my work has been shaped by many people — particularly people of color.
You can read more about my mission, values, goals, and teachers here.
You can also learn about teachers of color with learning opportunities made explicitly for or including white people around anti-racism and dismantling white supremacy in the FAQ section of How To Hold Whiteness Responsibly.
rEADY TO F*CK FEAR AND MAKE MORE LOVE?
Give me a holler.
“An inspiring revolutionary of these times, a brave social changer, a heart opener who talks about … the most confronting issues.” -Cristina Palma
laura brewer is the voice of radical heart and authenticity. A voice she evolved while growing up gay in the Southern United States. Those early years taught her a great deal about living in fear. And they also taught her that hiding her love was the only way to stay safe. As laura grew older and began to take on prominent leadership roles and work in social justice, she got an intimate look at just how significant the cost and consequences are of fear-based living and leading. And how urgent the need is to make more love in our world, with intention.
Today, she’s embraced the super powers that were forged from her pain as a kid to help others figure out how to re-relate to their fear and make more love in their lives – unabashedly. From learning to lead with more heart and less head to developing radically inclusive teams and organizations, laura helps leaders confront the things that scare them the most – so that they can make a life, a team, and organization, a relationship, a world filled with love.
laura has impacted thousands of lives through individual coaching, public speaking at places like Harvard University, and teaching as an adjunct faculty at American University. Her work has influenced audiences of teachers, corporate teams, and CEOs and has produced a strong track record of transforming culture, connection, courage, and inclusivity.
laura is the host and creator of popular 5-star podcast “How to Make Love.” She currently lives as a fish out of water in Los Angeles, CA with her wife, her cats, and one chicken. She loves to surf and use profanity.